I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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