I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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