i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I would fuck him just for his dog