NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
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My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover