Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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