I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
