I seem to have left my pride at pride
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
