i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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