Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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