Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
