I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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