got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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