you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
