It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
