I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
