well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
