i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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