My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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