I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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