No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
