in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
