so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
