Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
