so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
