I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
