lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
