Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
