im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
