Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude

(1-970): View more from Colorado

You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?

(970): View more from Colorado

Shut the hell up.

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(517): View more from Michigan

My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.

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(226): View more from Ontario

I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.

(613): View more from Ontario

The fuck? Where?

(226): View more from Ontario

St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.

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(812): View more from Indiana

UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING

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(636): View more from Missouri

How did the test come back?

(314): View more from Missouri

I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control

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