This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
