Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Panties = found
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
