Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
