if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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