ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize