Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
