She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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