your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
