Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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