So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
