I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
