is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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