i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Text me some of your sweat
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