i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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