guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
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