Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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