He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I have fence marks all over my body
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
