so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
