College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize