If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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