he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
