i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
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