Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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