i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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