chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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