You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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