I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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