There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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