i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
