What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Two words: nipple clamps
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