Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
