she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
