Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
