Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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