Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
