he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
