my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I love you. Go after that dick
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
